A Christmas Gift Drabble for Stella
by Mad Zia Magdalena
Summary: A Very late Christmas Gift for Queen of the Squares, aka Stella. Stella visits the Narutoverse with some fun powers and no rules! First Suna, then onward to Konoha! Chunin exams. Slight Gaara/Stella. Maybe other pairings. Mostly shenanigans and insanity!
1. It begins

The Joy of Christmas Gift Drabbles. For Stella. My utterly creative and more than a little disturbed mind came up with a delightful gift for my most specialist friend.

My P.O.V.:

_Heh heh heh… I got her now… She better love her gift…_ I grinned evilly as I saw my target sitting on her couch petting her dog. "Zia, what the heck are you doing there." She almost sighed without even looking at me. Not even her insufferable ability to see me could dampen my mood today though! "Seeing me can't help you now! IT"S JUTSU TIME! MWAHAHAHA!" I cackled as my hands rapidly formed strange shapes that, well... Looked Like I was making a snowball not actual hand signs. Hey! They are hard to make, okay! Stella's expression of slight concern to what I was doing quickly morphed into an air of irritation and humor. Almost like when she sees Tobi. Just less annoyed. "Zia, those aren't even the right handsig-"POOF! A massive cloud of dark red smoke (for Stella's sake of course) Bloomed out of nowhere cutting off Stella's protest. "You were saying?" I didn't bother hiding my smugness.

Stella P.O.V. (I tried my best sis!)

_Oh for the love of- What did she do now?_ I was just sitting there, minding my own business, watching some Anime, when my twin had to pop up and do something crazy. As usual. Normally, I don't mind, and like it when she comes over, not that I'd ever admit it though. (Mad Zia/Note: You know you love me Stella!~) (Stella/Note: *Whacks with baseball bat*) But! She had to make some red smoke obscure my view of the BEST DARN NARUTO EPISODE EVER! It's the flipping Gaara vs. Naruto episode! Geez! He had just started beating Duck-Butt up again! Once the smoke cleared I couldn't help the shock that appeared on my face. "Zia, What the hell did you do?" I was in a massive chamber made of igneous rock with Lava running down the sides. "You like?" I turned to the voice and saw Zia at the top of a massive set of stairs. And I mean gigantic. I don't use that word lightly either. "How did you do this?"

"Why with the magic of Fanfiction of course!" Zia said this like it explained everything and had this expression of pride on her face that reminded me distinctly of a happy little child. "And lots of dynamite. Come on up! I have a surprise for you!"

"You cannot expect me to climb all these stairs." Now I'm not a lazy person. I love the outdoors and often pace when I'm feeling restless. But I was not climbing all those. Not in this stifling heat! The lava was cool looking, but hot. (M/N: Heh. Nice pun Stell. Otou-san would be proud.) (S/N: *Stab with pitchfork*) And I'm a really heat-tolerant person!

"Oh. Yeah, well, I thought you might not like that. So I made it an escalator!" The steps promptly started moving.

"Will these even hold up for me?" I muttered as I approached the shuddering steps. They kept crumbling away at the edges. So sue me!

"Of course they are! I even got them inspected!"

"Mm-hmm."

"Aw come on! I have a Christmas gift for you!"

I finally stepped on the steps and started on the long rise up. "Did you really have to make these steps so long? And Christmas was days ago."

"Yes. Yes I did. (M/N: Oh Phineas.) And Nuh-uh! Haven't you heard of the 12 days of Christmas!"

"That's over too moron."

"Aw, you know you like the idea of more presents and partying! Who doesn't like Christmas! But fine. It's also a New year gift! "

"That was days ago too." She can't deny that!

"Chinese New Year's coming up."

"Nice save."

"Thank you. I really had to think about an excuse to do this-"

"Just get on with it!"

"Geez. I'm talking about giving you gifts and you're being impatient. Are you PMS'ing?"

"ZI-A! WHAT THE HELL?" Really? Really now.

"You can tell me this. There's no need to feel ashamed. We are friends. It's a natural thing for girls to go through. You see-"

"ZZZZZIIIII-AAAA!" She will die. Painfully. LISTENING TO JUSTIN BEAVER! SHE HAD TO DO THIS ON FANFIC!

"Gosh, okay sorry! Sorry! No PMS-ing here! I'm just being stupid!" (M/N: *Diego eyes*) (S/N: *loads gun like terminator*) (M/N: *gulp*) "Well, um, where were we? Oh yes! An extra X-mas gift I'm giving you a chance to mess around in the Narutoverse! You can choose 1 out of the 3 choices I'm giving you for powers. You know, In case you see Snake-Pedo or Mr. Glasses man." (M/N: If you don't know who they are, you my friend, need to study your Narutoverse.) Now, I have to admit, this is intriguing. I'm still going to murder her though.

"And the choices are…" I felt I had to cue her.

"Bleach soul reaper or espada, Avatar: The last Airbender bender or weapon master, Narutoverse ninja with a specialty or Kekkei Genkai."

"Oh. Hm. I'd choose Firebending with ninja speed."

"Okie Dokie!" I watched in mild confusion as Zia started doing the Macarena.

"All right, I'll bite. What are you doing?"

She held up one finger and finished, bobbing her head once at the end. "Viola!"

Right when that happened I felt a pulsing in my veins that felt like a fire burning. It surged all over from my head to my toes like you would feel in a hot tub! Oh. Right. Eh heh heh.

"Try it out!"

I forced my fist forward in a swift jab and grinned when a torrent of fire appeared. "Awesome." I promptly started trying al kinds of fun moves with increasing spee.

"I think that's a bit of an understatement. I even gave you Sozin's Comet's power boost!"

"Fine, this is freakishly, awesomely, amazing. Satisfied?"

The innocently happy grin was back. "You have no idea."

I couldn't help my own grin. "So what am I doing with this awesome power?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

Cue death stare from me.

"…" (M/N: Fear the dot dot dot! MWAHAHAHA!) (S/N: Finally shoots) I smirked as I saw Zia gulping nervously and noticeably trembling. "Well, you'll be visiting the Narutoverse for a few days. Or one day. It depends on how creative I am and if I manage to put most of the ideas swirling around my head on paper."

"Sweet. Where exactly?"

"Oh-ho, don't ya worry your pretty little head Miss! You'll see that special someone hmm?" (M/N: (Special Stella joke) *wink wink, nudge nudge*) (S/N: Can't help but join in grinning) (M/N: To Stella: Aww, you know you would!)

My Death stare doubles in strength. I swear, I can see her knees shaking! FEAR MY DEATH STARE! DESTINEY'S (M/N: Or Destiny Salazar) GOT NOTHING ON ME!

"Well, I was going to start you off in Suna right before they travel for the Chunin Exams, therefore giving you plenty of chances to torture them there, then you would get to visit Konoha and mess with the people there. To top it off, you get to see snake-pedo and his b**ch to hurt them in unspeakable ways. I really hate that four-eyed creep."

Amidst a massive grin Naruto would be proud of I asked, "Can I use my pitchfork?"

With a nearly identical grin, (Probably partly because I stopped glaring at her. HA! I HAVE POWER!) Zia giggled evilly and said, "You even get the chainsaw."

I had the distinct feeling I looked like Toph when she was Melonlord. Crazed, happy, and drunk on power. Then an utterly disappointing thought came up. "No Akatsuki and chance to dismember Karin?"

"Now now. That will come another time. Don't worry though! You get to mess with them later."

I had just about reached the top. "Anything else to this mission of pure chaos I have?"

"Yep. I'll be watching since it is my Fanfic. Need help? I'm there! You aren't sure how to hurt someone? You know I'd love to put my two cents in. Wanna freak someone out? I'm there! But before you protest, yes it's a solo thing. I'll be the dismembered narrator voice. Unless something messes with me or one of my friends. Then I'll go Sour Patch Kid on their big butts!" (*cough cough- Saskue -cough cough*)

"Sour Patch kid?" I asked with a _very _knowing look.

Zia promptly started blushing.

"You look like Hinata."

She just decided to prove my point even more. Oh, I do love teasing her about this. (S/N: HA! She has this nutso fangirl crush on- *Zia breaks into Stella's note to slap her hand over Stella's mouth, which Stella promptly bites.* Zia: OW! Stella! I don't blab about your crushes! Stella: Oh, but you do! You'll probably tell it multiple times in this story! Z: Oh yeah. Huh. It's not like you hide it. S: True. But why do you hide yours? Z: … Um.., well... I just… I DON'T KNOW! *Hides in emo corner* S: I win. AGAIN! REVENGE! Oh yeah. Sour Patch Kid is a code name for *Cue round two between Zia and Stella.*)

That's when I reached the top. "Well?"

"Oh right!" Zia shook herself out of her very rare shy moment, to instead this time grab a sword that looked suspiciously like a Zanpakto. She muttered under her breath and walked up to the center of the platform and hefted the sword over her head. "OH POWERFUL AND CUNNING SPIRITS OF FANFICTION, otherwise known as canon torture, GRANT MY DEAR FRIEND THIS CHRISTMAS, or New Year, whatever floats your boat, GIFT MADE BY ME! OPEN THE O.C. PORTAL! Please?"

"Oi! I am NOT an OC!"

"Shhhh!"

"Don't you shush me!"

"Technically, right now, you are because I gave you awesome bending prowess! Now let me talk to the people who could kill my fanfics easily, would'ya?"

"Fine. But we will talk about this later."

"You sound like a mix of Okaa-san and Mom!"

"DON'T YOU DARE GO THERE!"

"I WAS KIDDING! YOU DON'T HAVE TO KILL ME!"

"That's what I thought."

"Do you want me to finish or not?"

"Oh, sorry, don't let me stop you. Go right on ahead." I said with a voice dripping in sarcasm. The Okaa-san thing stung a little.

"Aw, you're mad at me! I'm sorry, I really didn't mean it! IT WAS A MENTAL VOMIT MOMENT!" (M/N: Thanks to emletish for that saying.) Of course Zia felt the need to drop the sword and glomp me. Of course.

"Geez, you're as bad as FUWA!" I will never admit it cheered me up. NEVER. Ever. ever.

"So-ree sissy! Right, the ceremony! Ahem. MIGHTY SPIRITS, I BESEECH YOU! See what I did there? Yup, I'm good." I ignored that last comment because I was marveling our shared talent at raising our voice to ear-piercing levels. I mean, Really! The only person louder is Cameron. Right, back to Zia's rant. "OPEN THE PATH, TO THE NARUTOVERSE! Please?" Then Zia twirled her sword above her head then froze with it held vertically, (M/N: I remembered! Verticals up and down! Thanks art class!) and swung it down with all her strength. A tear appeared in the previously empty space that looked like outer space. Now, I'm not known for having little to say. But this, tear thing was a massive rift where all the stars and planets appeared. Now it wasn't _our_ planets or solar system parse, it was theirs. The anime, and cartoons, and books! All orbiting a massive sun that gave a distinct feeling of… Internetness. Yes. Internetness. (M/N: Now you're rhyming!) (S/N: *grins* Yup. I practiced with brother.)

Zia turned around looking as shocked as I felt. "It, worked?"

Now, I don't know about you, but when the author is more surprised than you, I worry. "WHY, is your tone so SURPRISED, may I ask?"

To Zia's credit she did try to hide her expression, I mean, We _do _have T-Sensei for a teacher, I just know her too well. "Surprised? ME? Why, no, of course not!"

"I don't need to be an Earthbender to understand that MAGdaLEENA," Purposely messing up her name to tick her off. It worked.

"EXCUSE ME! I'm new to this! I didn't know it would look like this! And you were surprised too! Aren't you a veteran?"

"This is your story! It's different for everyone!"

"Hmph. Uh-huh. Sure."

Now I was ticked off too. "Don't you Uh-huh me!"

"Fine! I'll uh-uh!"

"Oh yeah!"

"Yeah!"

"Oh yeah!"

"Yeah!"

"Oh yeah!"

"Yeah!"

We might have gone forever if Hanihachi didn't show up. With her classic line: "Hey, no fighting no fighting!" I still don't know how she showed up. Best not to question I guess. (M/N: You gotta love Hani. (Our friend) *Stella nods in agreement*)

Zia quickly calmed and muttered, "Yes Hanihachi-chan." I just can't argue with her on this. She nodded seemingly satisfied and then turned to Zia. "Could you send me to Fruits Basket land? I wanna go fangirl Yuki and kill the competition." Zia responded with, "Sure! Just don't leave witnesses, and bring souveneirs/autographs!" I chimed in with, "I like ramen!" Hani just grinned. "No prob! Have fun!" She actually jumped into the swirling pit of stars toward a planet that looked like a Chinese Zodiac. Gee, I wonder why? (S/N: Not bad sarcasm. (M/N: Yessss… Senpai complimented me!))

Then I remembered. "So what now?"

Zia grinned a little creepily. "Now? Well, now you jump too."

"Jump?"

"Jump."

"Aw, what the hell. You only live once! Wish me luck!"

"Break a leg!"

"Zia."

"Yes?"

"Wrong time. And place. Altogether wrong."

"Oh. Right. Sorry."

With a final shake of my head at my ditz of a sister I ran to the rift and jumped. To a Ninja star surrounded by various symbols of clans and villages. Yup, I'm heading to the right place.

"Have fun Stella! Don't kill too many, and enjoy Garuu-Garuu!"

Oh no she didn't. No, just no. "ZZZIII-AAA!" Whoa, major Deja-Vuu. Instead of acting terrified she just waved. "Don't forget to firebend lots! Just think of Zuko and Azula for help!" That reminded me of a very important question. "Can I lightningbend?" "I think so! Good Luck with that!"

Good luck? Oh yeah. Ninjas. Violent ones. With jutsus. And I forgot to ask if I can get hurt. Or worse. Good grief. (M/N: Now you're Charlie Brown? Sweet! Can I be Lucy?) (S/N: *facepalm*)

How'd I do? This is my second ever Fanfic, and was made for a dear, dear Friend of mine for Christmas/New Year! My first ever story is still being edited. Read that too please! Feel free to ask questions! Be nosy everyone! Many inside jokes here. I'm sure you're curious. I _know _you're itching to know. Ask! I love emails.

Please review too! It doesn't take long does it. I'll answer back too! Compliment, advise, criticize. Just don't hate on my characters themselves! They are who they are.

To finish up, don't worry those of you who wanted our favorite ninjas! The ninjas are coming up soon. Poor, poor Kankuro. That's all you get for a hint at the next chapter. It's already well underway so be ready!

..

Touch the blue button. You know you want to.

Tell your friends!

Tune in again! Mad Zia


	2. Batman!

1st person: Sand Village

Murmuring.

"Is she alive? Wow, she's pretty! No, I thimk she's more of the sexy type. Do you think she's a ninja? Who is she?" I could hear the mutterings of an excited crowd around me, and figured I was alive. Barely. _"It's not barely! I wouldn't let you die!"_

_ "Zia, you are not in good graces right now. You let me plummet to the ground WITHOUT MY PARACHUTE."_

_"Azula made rockets using firebending..."_

_"You are not making me a Mary-Sue. Besides, as a scientist, you should know how hard it is to slow one's descent at that height and speed."_

_"...I thought Fanfiction would make it easier..."_

_"You have never tried this before, have you?"_

_"... No..."_

_"ZIA, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU."_

I opened my eyes then, enough to see the confusion on the little Sand Villager's faces at my mutterings, (Oops. I guess I was thinking out loud.), change to fear at my last statement. "Oh, sorry, I was talking to my Sister/Best friend. She didn't give me a parachute."

Cue very weirded out and even more confused expressions. Oops. Guess the drop addled my brain more than I realized. Oh well. I can tell, even with my fuzzy vision, there aren't any important characters. Might as well sleep and wait for the ninjas.

"Alright people. Nothing to see here. Move along." I opened one sleepy eye to see a generic ninja shooing the people away.

"Well doctor?"

I looked at the speaker and for a moment, I just stared. Then it hit me. IT WAS BATMAN! I started snickering. His hat really does look stupid. During this I was completely unaware of the doctor at my side. He was puzzled at my giggling, (S/N: I'm weirding people out a bunch...) (Z/N: Don't you always?~) (S/N: Don't try me. I'm mad at you. OC me's got a point!) (Z/N: Heh heh heh... sorry...)

but saw what I was laughing at and grinned. "His suit looks pretty stupid eh?" I grinned and nodded.

He smiled and said to the ninja's around, "She's in a remarkably good condition, but she might be a bit confused from the surroundings and company. Accustom her slowly. Here. Kankuro, you stay and calm her down. You're closest to her age. The others can go about their business again."

The ninja's nodded, and poofed off. The doctor stood up and said in farewell, "Hope I don't see you again anytime soon!~" Then he disappeared too. I bristled and sat up. "Well then!"

_"Stella, I think he meant that he didn't want you to get hurt ag-"_

_"Not talking to you."_

I could feel her sticking her tongue out at me even if I didn't see it.

"Mature are we?" I muttered.

I saw movement out of the corner of my eye, and turned to see Batman cautiously approaching the weird girl talking to herself.

In greeting I rose a hand and said, "Hey Batman. Where's Robin?"

He stopped, and said, "I'm not Batman, whoever that is."

"Of course you are!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Yuh-huh."

"No way!"

"Yuh-huh."

"Stop saying that!"

"Noooo, not until you say 'Nuh-uh!' back!" (S/N: I'm still confused from the drop.) (Z/N: Big time.)

"I am not saying that."

I made a scowl. "Fine then. I that's the case, I'm going back to sleep."

I flopped back on the ground.

"Hey!"

"Shhhh. I'm an insomniac."

"Don't go back to sleep!"

I blatantly ignored him. Who knew Bruce Wayne was so rude?

"Wha?- Bruce Wayne?"

Oh. I said that out loud.

"Yeah. You did."

I'm sorry Batman! I didn't mean to give away your special identity!

He made a noise of frustration, and Zia popped into my head again. _"As much as this amuses me, I don't want you to kill me for real so..." _

POOF! (In my head.)

I shot up. "Where am I? The sand village?" I looked around. "Kankuro?!"

He seemed to relax and calmly told me, "You're in the Village of the Sand, and I'm Kank-... How do you know my name?" Newfound suspicion colored his voice.

"Uh..." Dang it! I was careless. Think Stella, think!

"You have a name tag?" Huh. He does.

_"Thanks Zia!" "No prob!" "I'm still mad." "Awwwww..."_

"Huh? I do? I do! I don't remember putting that on... Weird. Anyways, I'm Kankuro. Welcome to Suna!" I guess since I was already inside the village, they assumed I was already cleared by the border patrol. That makes it easier.

"I'm guessing you weren't used to the heat here and got heat stroke, huh?" He said sympathetically.

"Yeah. That's it." Inwardly I laughed. This heat has nothing on Texas! (S/N: So true.)

"Hey... You know, you're pretty cute." He gave me a grin. So the Fanfiction writers were accurate on his character. How surprising. "What's your name?"

"Stella."

"What a strange, but pretty name!" He was laying it on thick.

I ignored his compliment. kankuro was nice, but I like his brotherl. What can I say? I love blue eyes! And red hair."How'd you know I just came to Suna?"

"No one around here recognized you, you didn't have anything Suna related on your person, and you have a lot of what I guess to be souveneir money."

"Oh. You're right. Hey, you felt me up!?"

"No! We just checked for weapons."

"Okay. " I gave him a suspicious glare.

"So where am I taking you?" He said cheerfully. "The least I can do is help you where you want to go."

Hm. Where should he take me?

"The Kazekage. I have important matters to discuss with him." I had a devious plot.

"Really? Are you sure you have the right person? Actually, I don't think you even have the clearance to see him." Kankuro looked incredulous, and for good reason. Random teenage girls that appear out of nowhere don't usually get an audience with the strongest Ninja in the village.

"Really. I have the documents to prove it." I dug around in my pockets thinking, "Be there, be there, be there, there!" I pulled out an official looking pass.

He took it and read it. "So you're from the Mockingbird Village?"

"Uh... Yeah!" _"Nice name Zia." "I like it too!"_

"Well, okay then. Follow me."

"Thanks!" I grinned and followed him cheerfully, whistling. Then I remembered I couldn't whistle. Cool! I can whistle now!

While we walked, I started planning. I had a lot to do of I wanted to join in the Chunin exams.

First off, I had to join the Sand sibs. To do that...

I'm going to bargain with the Kazekage. Or the creepy bastard who replaced him.

A/N: Hey world! Guess what! I'm not dead! WOO! I'm so sorry I haven't written! I lost all motivation to write when my flashdrive data was erased twice, but I'm back now and fully alive!

Stella: That's no excuse!

Sis, I am so, so, so, so sorry this was so late. I love you! Happy Birthday! (It was yesterday.)

So, I hope you liked this chapter, and reviews are appreciated and help motivate me to write! Thanks you guys!

(Remember. The review button is the blue one with the letters: R, E, V, I, E, W!


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